I never knew...

I'm not sure how to begin this, perhaps, "I had a dream last night..."

I had a dream last night I was at an amusement park, up early and taking in my last waterslide before work. It was 8:30 am before I got on the slide. I somehow met an older couple and materialized into their large cadillac. The woman was driving, and boy could she drive! She was hardly looking at the road! I yipped and pointed at a car in the other lane which I thought she was drifting into , but with a little tire screech she pulled the caddy tightly into the inside lane. The conversation somehow turned to God, but it was with laughter. She looked at me, which she was either looking at her husband or me and glancing at the road like it was an egg boiling. She said "I remember when I used to think of God as slavery, doing this, doing that, actions, actions, actions." The look in her eyes was alive and in them was the subtle focus I'm trying to get across to you. I recite in words what I saw in that moment's glimpse:

are you wanting? are you missing? have you found a piece of something that gives you joy and milk it for everything it's worth? is there no new? is there not new around always, alive. is there not found here always. is there not knowing...

is there not life in your hands? is there not time before you? is there not a spark in your heart, beating, pulsing as a star? is there not wisdom there? is it not enough to live your life? is there not enough to trust?

is it not torture to live your life guessing? is it not odd you have not looked and not found? is it odd that you have not looked enough to find.

is it not odd that looking is a tie that binds? is it too not odd that you are breathing as everything you need to be at this moment?

the mind has built a house of stones from another age. why not use some concrete? destroy the old stones and mix their powder into mortar. erect a temple for your new mind where love is first and anger and judgement are last. build every block with soft heart, and give every stir with calm acceptance of all that is. emotions rise, labels fall. you are as perfect as the leaf upon the tree. caterpillars will eat holes and wither. disease will turn black your edges. yet winter comes and destroys you totally, returning you to the earth where you might rediscover your life as all things. again a tree draws you in, decomposes you and turns half of you into bark, another half into limb, another into sugar and is eaten again. a bird eats the caterpillar that contains a piece of you. a child sees the bird and you become a dream.

release your burden... it is time to embrace life with love.